Hey babes!
Today is a very exciting day for me, because… *insert drum roll here* I’m out of jail! For the last seven days, I have been locked up, in a sense, as punishment for missing one of my goals last week. After swiftly apologising for my mistake, I began accepting my punishment, a whole week without orgasms. The worst of times, truly. Given that Daddy and I are apart due to the current lockdown, this punishment was self inflicted, and relied on trust. While he isn’t here and couldn’t physically stop me, if I wanted to ignore my sentence, every time I even thought of getting close to doing so, I pictured how disappointed he would be, and I was suddenly the queen of restraint, and that is because I have already disappointed him before, and I don’t think I could handle how it made me feel again.
A little while ago, I had quite a few spankings on my record, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to see Daddy for a few days, so… I decided to try punishing myself. It wasn’t the first time I’d done it, I had been in a long distance relationship with a dominant before, and was perfectly capable of spanking myself (and recording some fun little audio for the dominant to enjoy) , so I got myself ready, paid for my sins and then proudly sent Daddy a little souvenir. He was angry. In the immediate moment, I didn’t understand why, but as time has gone on, I do.
Punishments are not just a way to keep me behaving myself, but a deeply personal part of our connection. For him, they are not just enjoyable, but they are his way of connecting with me in a much deeper way than anybody else can, in the same way that me completing my tasks every day, and submitting to him is my way of connecting with him in a much deeper way than anybody else can. When I took that punishment into my own hands, and excluded him from it, I was taking his half of our connection, and pulling it away from him.
I would never kiss somebody else, or have sex with somebody else, because those are parts of our relationship, our personal connection, so I now understand why he was so hurt by me allowing someone else to take the intimacy of punishing me, even if that other person was me. I hurt him. I disappointed him. It may have not been on purpose, but it happened, and I never, ever want to disappoint him again. I learned a valuable lesson that day, about how much every little aspect of our relationship means to Daddy, and how it is on both of us to protect what we have. That lesson has stayed with me, and has made me a stronger submissive, with a much greater ability to resist temptation, even when that temptation comes from myself, and I will always be grateful.
Tales Of an Aqua Baby 